Ufotogenetiske Sjumilssteg

Someone Has Sent you a Stink-o-Gram

Postet 03:02, 8/7 2008
Kategori: Humor
Nøkkelord: All Too Flat | Stink-o-Gram
Kommentarer: Ingen! | Skriv

Dear Steinar,

This email has been sent to you by a concerned acquaintance. This person may be a friend, family member, colleague, or classmate. Whoever sent this email wishes to remain anonymous, but is concerned about you. Please do not take this the wrong way or be insulted in any way. This is purely constructive criticism and hopefully will contribute to a positive change.

The fact of the matter is, no one really cares about your cat. While we are sure you are quite enamoured with your little one, your stories are not entertaining to anyone but yourself. It is a wonderful thing that you have been blessed with a cat, and you have every right to find them cute and funny. In fact, we probably would too, if they were ours. But they are not. And as such, please keep your personal cat stories to a minimum. There are many great services that offer free webspace to build personal photo albums of your loved ones. Send everyone the link. Once.

Good luck on your path to personal growth.

–ATF Stink-o-Grams

Gøy med Etymologi!

Nå når jeg nærmer meg slutten av CD-bunken som skal rippes kom jeg over en gøyal liten sak.

Industri/metal bandet Ministry begikk i 1992 en CD som heter ΚΕΦΑΛΗΞΘ.
Jeg har bare tenkt på den som Psalm 69, uten helt å vite hvorfor, så jeg sjekket på the worldwide internet.

The actual title of the album is ΚΕΦΑΛΗΞΘ (a Greek word roughly pronounced as “ke-fa-lay,” meaning “head” or “leader”, and the number 69 in Greek numerals), though Psalm 69 is used for simplicity’s sake.

Det viste seg at full tittel er Psalm 69: The Way to Succeed and the Way to Suck Eggs. Nå ble jeg enda mer nysgjerrig, det var da en forunderlig tittel!

Forklaringen er som følger.

The title of the album is directly linked to chapter 69 of The Book of Lies, a written work of Aleister Crowley, where he uses the expression “The way to succeed and the way to suck eggs” as a pun for the 69 sex position (”suck seed” and “suck eggs”). Moreover, Crowley titled the chapter ΚΕΦΑΛΗ, which means “head” (the English word being slang for Oral sex - but not the original ancient Greek word) and is used often in the New Testament.

Bra plate og artig forklaring på en merksnodig tittel!
(Nei, jeg husket heller ikke hva Etymologi betyr.)

MMTV

Postet 20:16, 11/12 2007
Kategori: Humor
Nøkkelord: atomvåpen | Discovery Channel | NRK Østafjells
Kommentarer: Ingen! | Skriv

Moro Med TV
Jeg er temmelig sikker på at de som oversetter film og TV gjør noe helt annet enn å faktisk følge med på skjermen, noe følgende kan være en indikasjon på:

Alien planet - planet befolket med romvesener (alien = fremmed) (Discovery)
Fix the scope - fikse siktet (montere kikkertsikte) (Discovery)
Cooling pipe - kjølepipe (kjøle rør) (NRK)
Eleven thirty - klokken 3 (halv tolv) (Showtime)
Mistenkelig narkoreir (er ikke et narkoreir i seg selv mistenkelig?) (Discovery)
Lethal velocity - lovlig hastighet (lethal = dødelig)

Vi kan ikke alle være feilfrie - selv jeg har tabbet meg ut en gang, men det rykket litt i flireapparatet da nyhetsoppleseren i NRK Østafjells sa atomvåpen i stedenfor automatvåpen.
“Det blir stadig vanligere med atomvåpen blant kriminelle pensjonister.”

Lizzom.

Jeg spiller den eminente Bang Bang av Oak, fra albumet Sleep Dream Walk Enter.

If Operating Systems Ran the Airlines

UNIX Airways
Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.

Air DOS
Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on…

Mac Airlines
All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don’t need to know, don’t want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.

Windows Air
The terminal is pretty and colourful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

Windows NT Air
Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

Windows XP Air
You turn up at the airport,which is under contract to only allow XP Air planes. All the aircraft are identical, brightly coloured and three times as big as they need to be. The signs are huge and all point the same way. Whichever way you go, someone pops up dressed in a cloak and pointed hat insisting you follow him. Your luggage and clothes are taken off you and replaced with an XP Air suit and suitcase identical to everyone around you as this is included in the exorbitant ticket cost.
The aircraft will not take off until you have signed a contract. The inflight entertainment promised turns out to be the same Mickey Mouse cartoon repeated over and over again. You have to phone your travel agent before you can have a meal or drink. You are searched regularly throughout the flight. If you go to the toilet twice or more you get charged for a new ticket. No matter what destination you booked you will always end up crash landing at Whistler in Canada.

Linux Air
Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself.
When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful.
You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, “You had to do what with the seat?”

(Ukjent forfatter. Ta gjerne kontakt om du vet hvem som skrev dette så skal jeg ta det med.)

Nattønsket

Nattønsket i NRK Moro i natten
Vi vil hilse til skapsvenskene som sitter og koser seg med kaffe og noe attåt. Vi er veldig glade i hverandre og ønsker å høre noe med Supertramp. Hilser til alle vi kjenner.
Hilsen Steinar og Lena.